Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Analemma's DeadJournal:

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Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
10:06 am	Alfie's big, round, tummy Why does Alfie have a big, round, tummy? Last night he had vegetable and cheese soup for dinner. Yum! Then he and Daddy had some popcorn. Then he and Daddy had some rice crisps. Then Mommy arrived home with a new box of cookies and he saw it and had to have one. Then he wanted cuddles and Mommy milk. Then Mommy and Daddy ate dinner and Alfie needed something to snack on while he watched them eat, so he ate rosemary bread dipped in butternut squash soup. Then, because he hadn't had any other vitamin supplement all day, he ate two more cookies. After that he wanted some Mommy milk to wash it all down. By bedtime he was pretty roly-poly, but he went right to sleep with no complaints. I don't think we usually overfeed our child, but some nights he does eat his way through the evening. It didn't help that Eric and I ate dinner so late, rather than during his dinner time, causing him to want a second dinner. And of course, Eric had to snack while waiting for dinner, and he couldn't eat in front of Alfie without sharing! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 16th, 2008
12:22 pm	We need a different group of friends No, I'm not serious. But a multitude of surveys about happiness and financial contentment have noted that people whose friends have similar incomes to their own are far more likely to feel like they are doing well and have enough than those whose friends all have more money than them. The latter group are more likely to live beyond their means, feel like they don't have enough, and get into financial trouble. Unless the state's revenue is much higher than expected in April, I won't be able to teach this summer as I always have. That's three months of unpaid leave and amounts to a 25% pay cut. We already have less money than most of our friends, so just out of curiosity I read up a little bit about classes in the United States. As far as I can tell, there are two statistics, not one, that combine to help determine what socio-economic class a person falls into. Everyone talks about money, and income-wise we just got punted from the middle of middle class to the lower eschelons of lower middle class. The other contributor is education. Not only does education influence earning, but as we all know, it influences one's outlook on life. I never thought that there were significant differences in values between middle and working class, and that's the deciding factor. Middle and upper class values emphasize independent thinking and creativity. Working class values emphasize adherence to authority and proper social behaviour. My upbringing was monetarily on the borderline between working and lower middle class, and from reading about the value systems, the values I was taught were also on the border. My dad has a bachelor's degree, but has little respect for academia. I was taught to unwaveringly respect and obey authority, but my parents also encouraged creative thinking and my natural independence. With them there was never a question of whether I would attend college, it was just a question of whether I would earn scholarships or have to get student loans (they certainly couldn't afford to pay for it). Six and a half years at university moved my thinking solidly into the ranks of upper middle class. Eric, despite his lack of college education, was raised with upper middle class values, so we have the same perspective and ideas in that respect. Our friends are mostly educated too, and share those values. The difference, of course, is that without a college degree Eric can't earn an upper middle class income, and I am woefully underpaid as a state employee. So we have the same values as our friends but have a lot less money, especially now. Fortunately, most of our friends got to where they are through their own hard work and know what it's like not to have much spare money and to wonder how you're going to make ends meet. I don't think they mind much that we don't go out with them. But it's hard on us seeing them eat out all the time, go on vacations and trips to visit family several times a year, and buy cool new stuff regularly. Of course, we can't go anywhere now that we have goats, and most of our friends wouldn't be able to go and do things either if they had kids. I think we have the most expensive home of anyone, but that allows us to have the goats and hopefully one day we will see some return on the investment. As for this summer, if I look for part time work I will be competing not only with high school and college students, but also with all the other teachers who are unexpectedly out of work. We think our best bet may be to focus on home and garden and see what we can sell at the farmers' market. Eggs, vegetables, bread, suncatchers anyone? (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
8:01 am	Too Much Fun On Sunday Alfie and I went to the Renaissance Festival near Charlotte with our friend Steph. Eric had to work and he doesn't really like Ren Fairs anyway. I now finally understand how it was that my mom would just sit there at Great America (the amusement park in Santa Clara) and insist she was having fun by watching me have fun. Alfie had such a great time that I had a blast just watching him. Alfie got to eat fair food for the first time - corn chowder in a bread bowl - and he didn't try to crawl away when I changed his diaper because he was too busy watching a man juggle flaming torches. He waltzed with Mommy to Fanny Poer as performed by harp and fiddle. Later that afternoon the harpist declared him to be the cutest thing she had seen all day. He got a new hat that made him look very dashing and received many complements on his attire. There were many shiny things to look at, like pewter hydras which said "Rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr, rawr", once for each head, and rainbow colored metallic whirligigs. There were blown glass dragons and carved wooden dragons and cloth dragons and painted dragons and resin dragons and cast cement dragons, dragon candles, and dragon puppets. The dragon puppets talked to Alfie and moved in reaction to his hands, thanks to Steph. The blowing horns were a sure way to get Alfie's attention, and he was absolutely fascinated by the concertina that some pirates had. They played "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" when they saw him gazing at them. A man juggling X-shaped chalices on a string with handles kept Alfie entertained for about 20 minutes. He made it go waaaaay up high, and Alfie turned his head up, mouth open in wonder, to watch. There was even a real fairy who gave him a fairy stone. Alfie bought a milkshake and shared it with Mommy and rode on a flying machine. It made him very dizzy, but was fun anyway, or maybe even because of the dizziness. And just as we were about to leave he bought a shield. Mommy painted the shield to match Daddy's after we came home, so now he has a shield just like Daddy's! Alfie has maybe never had as much fun as he did on Sunday. It was a whole day of wonder and excitement. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 8th, 2008
6:23 am	Scams and Worse Business Practices Before I recently got a new phone from my parents' family plan, I had Suncom. I had signed up with AT&T, which got bought out by Cingular, which sold their old AT&T customers to Suncom. They weren't great, but I had no real complaints with them. When I cancelled service there was a 1 month wait period - I couldn't cancel it effective the end of the billing cycle. Fine. I waited my 30 days and didn't receive a closing bill. On Sept. 30th when paying bills for the month I called them to find out what was going on. In that 30 days, Suncom had been bought out by T-Mobile, and the T-Mobile people could see that my account had some sort of odd status in which it wasn't doing anything. They showed no balance due and said not to worry, the bill would probably go out soon and if not to call back in a month. About 2 weeks later I received a bill dated Oct. 1st. The due date was Oct. 23rd, but since I only get paid monthly I stuck it in with my bills to pay Nov. 1st. About a week later I received another bill dated Oct. 15th saying the first was now past due and needed to be paid immediately. No luck for them; I wouldn't have money to pay it until my next payday. I put my payment in the mail on Monday, Nov. 3rd. The next day in the mail I received a notice dated Oct. 31st that my payment was delinquent and if payment was not received within 10 days the bill would be turned over to a collections agency. WTF? Since when did phone companies give less than a month between the original bill and final notice? And what happened to that first one being due on the 23rd, anyway? So anyway, if anyone was thinking of switching to T-Mobile, I wouldn't reccommend it. In other scams, last year about this time I decided to get a pre-tax health savings account through work. Since the deductible for me+Alfie on my health insurance was $900 I told them to take $75 per month from my paycheck. Then Eric became eligible for insurance through work and we saw that it would cost a lot less in monthly premiums to put Alfie on his plan. No problem; the two of them are listed as my dependents and I can still get reimbursed for their medical costs. Right? In January Eric went to the ER at UNC. I submitted the receipt to the HSA for reimbursement and they denied the claim, saying the receipt from the hospital was not valid documentation. Their booklet says that I can get reimbursed for anything health-related, even toothpaste and aspirin, so long as I have an itemized receipt from the store. So when I had to get a prescription I sent in the receipt which said "Rite Aid" at the top and had the line item "Prescription Rx $30.00" and they denied that one too, saying there was not valid documentation. In fact, the only things I've been able to get reimbursed for are doctor's office copays, and for that I've had to make a special trip to the doctor's office a few weeks after the visit to get a post-insurance report showing that the insurance did not pay the copay. I've been reimbursed $110 and I put in $900. Any money leftover at the end of the calendar year is forfeit and goes into the state's coffers. It's a scam. Don't get a HSA (at least, not through the state employee system). Current Mood: frustrated (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 6th, 2008
11:19 am	Routine We are getting into a routine with the goats, and they are settling in, too. Their morning feeding is my job. To prevent pandemonium they are each chained to their food dishes until everyone is done eating; otherwise they would try to steal each others' food. At first they didn't like this and would fight to escape, especially when finished eating and waiting for each other to finish. I had to prepare their food with them jumping at me to try to be first to reach the food. Now when they see me in the morning each goes to her own eating station and lets me attach the chain. Then they calmly wait and watch while I prepare their food. Whichever finishes first makes cute faces at me so I pet her and give her attention while waiting for the other to eat. And then when everyone is done I unhook their chains and they go inspect each others' dishes to make sure nothing got left. Since we do want milk in the spring we are leasing a buck right now. He's a bit stinky, but generally affable and quite cute. He's not sure about being tied to his food dish, but in five days has gotten calmer about it. When he first arrived he wanted nothing more than to sniff Korg's butt, as she had just gone out of heat. Korg was none too pleased about this, and despite being the biggest and most feisty goat around, she would run behind me to hide from him. It was pretty funny, but I'm glad I didn't get knocked over. Korg is three years old and full-grown. She is friendly in a very confident sort of way. She likes being around people but has to assert herself and get attention on her own terms. Milkyway is sweet, docile, and affectionate. She licks my hand if I'm not petting her and likes to be cuddly when I squat down to her level and hug her. I would never squat next to Korg - she would body slam me and knock me over instead of staying calm. She does like ear scritches and her chin rubbed, though. Nighttime chores are Eric's duty. He changes their water and refills the hay feeder every evening. Morning chores will be much more time-consuming at first when there is milking to be done, because I'm still slow and need to build up the milking muscles. Once I'm up to speed, though, I don't think they will take even twice as long as now. Right now I have to wait while the goats eat since they are tied up and vulnerable. Typically, when in milk, they eat breakfast while being milked, so instead of waiting around while they both eat I will feed one while I milk her, then feed and milk the other. So they will eat in serial instead of parallel, but with two goats it won't be that bad. Usually Korg takes much longer to eat than Milkyway, so I won't have to wait through two Korg-meals and the time won't double. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
10:46 pm	Bittersweet Alfie's fourth tooth erupted yesterday morning. He was very miserable and his gums were bleeding and yucky. But by afternoon he was feeling much better and was very pleasant. Eric and I made an Obama Victory Pie to eat while we watched the results trickle in. It was very yummy. The victory over Bush's failed policies was bittersweet, though, due to the passage of proposition 8 in California. It will eventually be struck down by the US Supreme Court, but for the time being, a lot of people are hurt (and no one is helped; no marriages strengthened) as the majority tramples the minority. Despite growing up in a very conservative evangelical family (my dad campaigned in favor of prop 8) and attending Christian schools through high school, I have never understood this aversion to people doing something that brings them joy and stability and has no effect on anyone else. Today the excitement was palpable among all the students. In hallways, out in the courtyard, during class, all I heard was people talking about the election. I'm going to try to put together a scrapbook to show Alfie when he is older. He's going to grow up thinking that it's perfectly normal for someone who isn't an old white man to be President of the United States, and I want to have something tangible to show him about how this all changed when he was very little. Kind of like how I have no concept of the segregation of the 60's, and grew up in a different world from my parents', he will be growing up in a different world with different possibilities than the one I grew up in. When I was in elementary school "they" always told us that anyone could grow up to be president, but we all understood that this only referred to the boys, and only to the white boys, at that. While I am confidant that Obama was elected because the majority of Americans believe him to be the most capable candidate, his success has the side effect of being a turning point in America and what is possible for all people to accomplish if they set their minds to it. Go us! Only Durham had a bigger difference between the candidates' results. Current Mood: mixed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 31st, 2008
10:01 pm	Weedeating It takes on a whole new meaning when you have goats. I've been meaning to write since last Friday. Eric and I noticed on Thursday that a bunch of McCain signs had sprung up on our street to go along with the Obama signs which had been there for some time. Our next door neighbor had four Republican signs on his side of our shared driveway, so we figured we needed to balance it out a bit. But we aren't Democrats, either, so we resolved to get an Obama sign and a Lawson sign (BJ Lawson is a Republican with endorsements from little-l libertarian groups). I picked up the signs after work on Friday and came home with them to see that there were no signs at all on our street, except for one Hagan sign and two other Lawson signs. There were still plenty of "yard sale tomorrow" or "youth basketball tryouts" signs, so it wasn't the DOT cleaning up the roadside. People from both parties must have come by during the day to steal signs, and they just missed a few. We put out our signs, but not before supergluing the sign part to the wire holder so it can't just be pulled off. Then we put in a bunch of sod staples oriented in various directions to hold the wire parts in the ground. And to dissuade someone from pulling out all the sod staples to remove the signs, we wove poison ivy all through them. Steal our signs too, asshats! And I hope you scratch your genitals before you get home and wash your hands! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
9:42 am	Critters II We no longer have Medhbh. We both are sad about having to give her up. It was a decision long in the making. We actually decided it long ago, and then kept saying, "well, maybe if we try..." but we ran out of ideas. See, we discovered that she is severely allergic to the metal on her fence and training collars. She wouldn't just get the pressure necrosis any dog will get if it's too tight or in one place too long. Just putting the collar on her for an hour or two so she could run around the yard but still have the reminder not to leave would make her neck red and angry and inflamed. By the time we realized this she was already responding well to "come" and "sit" as long as there weren't guests around to excite her (so I expect most of my readers might not believe she was pretty well behaved), and she wouldn't jump on us or pull the laundry off the line, so we kept hoping that if we could just train her to her boundary, we could leave the collars off. We got Medhbh to be a guard dog. Not to scare off bad people, but to protect the goats from predators and keep deer away from the garden. She couldn't do her job while confined to the back porch, and we couldn't let her run loose. A few weeks ago while her collars were off and we were outside with her she ran over to the neighbor's house and discovered the cat food they leave out. Ever since, after just a few minutes of playing and running when we went out with her, she would take off to their house and eat the cat food. She would refuse to come when called. At first, her neck was too hurt to put a collar on her, and she would chew off harnesses ($16 each for her size!) as soon as we turned our backs for a moment. To get her back home we would have to drag her by the scruff of her neck, all the while holding firmly to an ear to keep her from twisting and biting the arm holding her neck - she bloodied my arm a couple of times when I wasn't careful. Eric sometimes gave up and carried her. Later as she healed we could put the leash on her to walk her home, but that didn't stop her from going over there in the first place. We couldn't let her run enough because she wouldn't stay home, and when we did she ate cat food. So she was rather fat by the end. And however we looked at it, she wasn't being trained to her boundaries and wasn't showing any sign of being able to do her duties as a guard dog. Over six months we sank several thousand dollars into her that could have paid off the septic system and finally we decided to cut our losses. A guard dog that costs more than the goats she is supposed to be guarding is a bad investment. Goat farmers reccommend donkeys or llamas as better guard animals anyway, since they are much less expensive and can work for several years longer than dogs. Before spring comes and brings with it mama coyotes looking to feed their babies, we need to find a guard donkey or llama. Current Mood: disappointed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 17th, 2008
8:17 pm	Ten Years Ago Meme I stole this meme from borea on livejournal. I've actually been thinking about this lately and was thinking about a post like this anyway. 1. How old were you? Then: 18 Now: 28 2. What was your online presence? Then: I was employed as a chat room moderator for Talk City, inc. and spent lots of time hanging out on their servers when not working. I had a website with lots of bright colors and animated gifs (but no blink tags, honest!), including one with a revolving metallic-looking cross. I read the local newspaper online. I used the name "Arcturus". Now: I still hang out with some of the people from Talk City on a server called Hell City, but it's mostly other people there now. I had a web-store that went offline due to a server outage a couple of months ago and I'm in the process of rebuilding a new website from scratch. All my photo albums from the last four years are online and my poetry and art can be found on several websites not run by me. I still use the nick "Arcturus" when it's available but have found that "Analemma" is often more likely to be an option. 3. Where did you work? Then: Talk City, the chat network. I was also a freshman/sophomore in college (University of the Pacific). Now: Wake Tech, a community college, where I teach. 4. Where did you live? Then: Stockton, CA Now: Hillsborough, NC. 5. Who did you live with? Then: I lived with my parents the first part of the year, then I married Stephan in June and lived with him the rest of the year. Now: I live with my husband Eric and our son and a lot of animals. 7. Pets? Then: Quigley and Trillian, the cats, and Holly, a german shepherd/rottie mix. Now: Quigley is still with us. Kenny and Astrid are our younger cats. We have Medhbh, a lab puppy, and Korg and Milkyway, who are goats. 8. Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse/s.o.? Then: I married Stephan in 1998 Now: Married to my Eric 9. Who were your friends? Then: Stephanie (who later threw me a surprise birthday party and was no longer my friend after that), Tricia and Aaron, Krista, Athena, RuneB, gsteph, zoratu, SuperID, Elshya, Wataru, Mithril. Now: Michelle and Jeff, Phil and Jamie, Jag and Heather, Dan and Cynthia, Jenn and Eric (the tall), Stacey, Steph, Alison; I still see gsteph online once in a while. 10. Any kids? Then: No, and I never would! Now: Alfie, whose smile guarantees sunshine every day 11. What was your worst struggle? Then: doing my homework when I would prefer to do domestic things Now: juggling a full-time job and trying to run a busy household 12. What was your biggest joy? Then: being a wife Now: being a wife and mom 13. What did you consider your greatest accomplishment? Then: Being one of five people from my high school class to go directly to the university (which doesn't impress me much now). Now: Building a happy, productive life for myself on the ashes of my past. 14. What advice would you give your younger self? Savor the joys of every day. Plan for the future but live in the present. Don't take anything for granted. 15. What would your younger self say to you? Get away from me, you evil pagan devil-worshipper! 16. Looking back, is your life in 2008 what you thought it would be in 1998? Definitely not. I thought I would be married to Stephan forever and someday have a prestigous job, a nice house with a flower garden and a few pets, lots of computers and technotoys and no kids. But whose life really is what they expected a decade ago? Current Mood: tired (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 10th, 2008
7:55 pm	Critters It took some time and experimenting to figure out what was going on, but we eventually concluded that Astrid probably was a feral cat like her papers say. She never learned some of the finer points of living in a house, such as the fact that not all boxes are litter boxes, and that clawing holes in the drywall is not acceptable. Astrid is now a mostly outside cat who is allowed inside when we are able to keep an eye on her and all the bedroom and bathroom doors are shut. We have now gone a full week without any cat toilet incidents on furniture or rugs or anywhere else but the litter box. Astrid seems to enjoy being able to go outside. She spends most of her time in the goat pen where there is a nice woodpile for hanging out in and a fence to make her feel safe (and Medhbh can't get in there when she's loose). Astrid is fond of the loft in the goats' house and her food dish is up there. Astrid does not seem to be so sure about the goats. At first it was obvious that she thought they were dogs. But when they showed absolutely no notice of her she became less worried. She still keeps her distance and it may take awhile for her to warm up to sharing "her pen" with them. She can get in and out of the pen; there's a gap at the gate which she can squeeze through, and so far we have managed to keep the hot wire from electrifying the welded-wire fence or the gate. Yes, you read that right. We have goats. We have two of them; they are both La Mancha does. That's the breed of dairy goat which has no ears. We didn't really pick out the goats; they chose us. There were 8-10 La Mancha does at the farm we were at, and one kept blinking up at me and mouthing at my hand if I wasn't petting her. One followed Eric around and head-butted him like a dog might do. So we have Milky Way, who is black and white, 18 months old, and never bred, and we have Corg, who is brown, 3 years old, and has given birth to triplets twice. Their house has an excellent barny scent already from the hay and animal odors. We have hoof trimmers and herbal worm preventative on order. We need to make a container to store their grain (they get a mix of goat and horse feed for breakfast) and we have such odds and ends as sunflower seed and yeast culture. We haven't yet figured out how much hay they should get, but since they don't have beds yet we figure they're likely to need extra tonight to make beds out of, so we're not overfeeding them. They also have sweetgums to eat. They have water in buckets and tomorrow I need to mount a 2x4 on the interior of their house for their food, minerals, and baking soda (for them to use if they get stomach upset). The food dishes have hooks and go on a 2x4. We have lots to learn, but thankfully we have people to ask when we don't know what to do! I am tired, sore and achy. Not only did I install 500' of electric fencing and do a bunch of wiring in the last two days, I also got flu, chicken pox, and tetanus shots yesterday. Current Mood: productive (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
9:06 pm	In the Water I was talking with my dad tonight. He said the economy really isn't that bad, it's just the media trying to scare us into voting for "that...that...'God damn America' preacher's parishoner." I was opening my mouth to say, "Oh, right, that one." when my phone cut out, as it is wont to do when I'm driving on country roads. There is definitely something in the water Republicans are drinking. But I still am frustrated that for once I had a really good comeback for something and the phone cut out! Plus, I'm curious as to whether he would have caught it. Apparently the dirty campaign to distract from the economy tactic is working to the extent that hard-core Republicans who were voting for McCain already are buying into it. But that isn't exactly a game changer. Current Mood: amused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 29th, 2008
11:51 pm	Economics I'm trying to stay awake late enough to see what my paycheck is. My raise took effect July 1st, but we didn't even find out how much it was until about three weeks ago, and we didn't sign contracts until two weeks ago. So I'm getting not only a raise, but three months' worth of backpay tomorrow. I hope it's enough to get Medhbh spayed, buy some fencing on end-of-season clearance, and take care of Eric's car. Having some left over to buy Alfie some fall clothes would be nice, and having enough to pay down credit card debt (remember the septic system which overran estimates by almost $6000?) is probably too much to ask. In other news of personal finance, I learned last week that we can pay a 0.75% origination fee to re-adjust our mortgage and change the schedule. To condense a lot of calculations into two sentences, it's a gamble: if interest rates stay in the toilet for another year, we'll lose $151. If they rise at all, we will save an unknown amount of money - potentially as much as $70k in the long run, but I think more likely closer to $20k over the next 30 years. When I was a teenager I had checking and money market savings accounts at a local bank that I'm sure I'll never hear about on national news, and a credit card (with a whopping $700 limit) from Citibank. When I was about 21 I got fed up with the antics at that bank and moved everything to Washington Mutual. I also got a LinuxFund card from MBNA and ditched the Citibank card. When I came to NC there were no WaMu branches or ATMs here, so I moved once again, this time to Wachovia. MBNA was bought by Bank of America. I still have that BofA card since it looks good on my credit report at this point. When I became a state employee I put my savings in the State Employee's Credit Union, and when Eric and I combined finances we opened a joint checking account there and I closed the Wachovia account. We also have a credit card with a low limit and low interest rate from the SECU, and our mortgage is from them - and owned by them without weird things having been done to it. It has been very interesting watching the names of financial institutions in the news lately. I'm glad to be involved with a state-sized credit union and not some ginormous bank full of crazies. Part of me really wanted this bailout thing to fail, so that the fools who caused the current mess would be hoist firmly on their own petard. However, the part of me that won a gold medal for macroeconomics suspects that the bailout might actually be needed (I really am not smart enough to call this one) and I'm afraid that without it we're all going to be hoist on their petard with them. Just because most of us don't have money invested on Wall St. doesn't mean a major crash won't effect our jobs and livelihoods. Actually, I wish I had some spare cash to invest right now. This would be a good time for it. And speaking more of such things, am I mistaken or is McCain's idea for making sure all Americans can afford health insurance just a little short sighted? Does he really mean to offer everyone a $5k annual tax credit to buy it, with the obvious consequence that employers will stop paying? Um..hello. Most of the people who are in dire straits right now don't pay taxes of $5k per year to actually get the benefit of that credit. Is he that ignorant to think we're all as rich as him? Eric and I are pretty solidly middle class, and we have decent insurance right now. If we lost that and got a $5k tax credit instead, Uncle Sam wouldn't pay us the negative taxes due. We'd have well under $5k per year to insure a family of three. And how many Americans would use the extra money to buy a new plasma tv instead of insurance if given the chance? If I'm misunderstanding this plan, then his campaign is doing an awful job of trying to explain it to the masses; I can't be the only one misunderstanding, and I'm actually trying. Current Mood: geeky (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 25th, 2008
9:21 am	Dreams I almost never remember any part of my dreams, so it was very unusual that I woke up this morning remembering one from last night. My dad's job had him doing some research that involved him being in Raleigh, while Ted was taking a one-semester hiatus from teaching to do research. The two of them were occasionally in and out of the dream, but not involved much. My dad was staying at a place in Raleigh that his company was providing and was very busy with work, so I didn't see him much, despite his being nearby. Eric had married a woman named Holly. He was still married to me, as well, and how he pulled off this stunt was beyond the scope of the dream. Eric and Holly had decided to go road-tripping around the United States partly to see the sights, and partly to live the gypsy lifestyle - looking for odd jobs here and there and staying in a place for a little while before moving on. I wasn't involved in this decision, as I had to keep working to pay Eric's mortgage* and wanted to remain settled here, anyway. One day I returned home from work to find that Eric and Holly had made good on their plans to leave, and they had taken Alfie and the cats with them. I had no way of contacting them since Eric wasn't answering his phone and I didn't know where they were, but every couple of weeks I would hear through friends that they were in one place or another and doing well enough. I used the breast pump regularly so that I would still have milk for Alfie when he came home. I was unbearably lonely, thought it was cruel of them to take Quigley so that I didn't even have my cat to cuddle with, and I was desperately worried about how Alfie was handling the situation. I was afraid he would initially be upset that I was gone and would eventually conclude that I hadn't wanted him. My friends were little solace. They said things like, "I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you hoped, but what a great opportunity for Eric!" Only Jenn let me cry on her shoulder once, and the Campbells seemed genuinely troubled. Everyone else seemed to think I was getting worked up over nothing, which made them not want me around, and therefore exacerbated my loneliness. After a few months I heard that Eric, Holly, Alfie, and the cats were in Merced, which, thanks to the spacewarp of dream geography, was nearby. I drove the hour to Merced and tracked them down (it's a small town, and itinerant white families leave an impression). Alfie was so thrilled to see me that they let me take him home with me. I returned home, overjoyed to have my little boy back. I was walking in the door with him and wondering how I would handle the responsibilities of a single mother when I woke up. Alfie was playing in his crib and babbling to himself when I woke up, and it was a very nice sound after that dream! *Due to a clerical error, official records indicate that Eric is the sole owner of our house and I have no part in it, despite the fact that most of the downpayment came from my savings, I make the payments, and I'm responsible for the debt! Current Mood: melancholy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 21st, 2008
8:15 pm	Nursing Songs Alfie likes Milk Alfie likes milk, milk, milk, because it is yummy. Alfie likes milk, milk, milk, 'cause it comes from mommy. Alfie likes milk, milk, milk, milk in his tummy. Alfie likes milk, milk, milk, because it is yummy. Aren't You Glad that You're a Mammal? Aren't you glad that you're a mammal? Aren't you glad that you're a mammal? Aren't you glad that you're a mammal? It means you can have mommy milk! Mommy milk, mommy milk. It means you can have mommy milk, Yummy yummy mommy milk. All the Little Mammals Drink Milk The kittens drink milk from the mommy cats, The whale calves drink milk from the mommy whales, The wolf cubs drink milk from the mommy wolves, And the piglets drink milk from the mommy pigs. All the little mammals drink milk from their mommies; All the little mammals drink milk. All the little mammals drink milk from their mommies And you drink milk from me! (alternate refrain with repeated verse with other mammals until you can't think of any more) I caught Eric laughing at the last song and was embarassed that he thought it was dumb, but then he explained that he thinks it's awesome that I sing Alfie a geeky song about how he is one of the baby mammals. Current Mood: nerdy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
7:07 am	Baby Love On Monday when I prepared to express milk at work I found a piece of zucchini in my bra. Guess who had zucchini and carrots with cinnamon and ginger for breakfast, and then wanted milk. Alfie has grown about two inches in the last two weeks. I'm not exaggerating. The first week or so that he was pulling up to a standing position, the corner of the tension gate (where the pieces overlap) was right at forehead level and he got a couple of bruises from banging his head on it. He had to stand on his tip toes to look over the gate. Now when he stands flat-footed the corner is right at chewing-on level and he easily peers over the top. Last week Eric and I went to Babies-R-Us for Spend Lots of Money on Alfie Day. This occasion comes around every couple of months when he outgrows a bunch of stuff. At least this time he doesn't need new carseats! We just don't have time to drive around to every thrift store looking through all the baby stuff for the one or two items that will work. New items off the clearance rack are usually $3-$5 for an article of clothing, and there's more selection all at one place. Secondhand items cost $1.30 each with very little selection and having to drive all over to the different places to get enough. So new baby clothes aren't such a bad deal if you're careful about it, although I do prefer to re-use things. Now Alfie is a little too big for most of his 12-month clothes, and the 18-month clothes are much too big for him. We will be rolling up sleeves and pant legs for a while unless this growth spurt continues at its current rate. He is much happier now that he can stand up and get down on his own, and he likes to pull himself into a sitting position to play with toys. We baby-proofed his room and there are different toys up there for him to play with. We can't leave him alone upstairs, obviously, but he likes to play in there while we get dressed in the morning or do laundry in our room, and we can sit in with him while reading or take the laptop in. Mostly, though, he has played in there while I've sorted his clothes or we have been painting the tapestry on his wall. I have pictures, and once I have a place to upload them to, I will link to them. I need to go to work soon. I'm giving a test this morning and it's already printed and ready to go, at least. Eric has today off so I don't have to scramble to get dressed and get Alfie dressed and fed and off to be babysat. It makes for a much calmer morning this way. Current Mood: lazy (Comment on this)
Friday, September 5th, 2008
9:51 pm	Chapter 12: Injustice Saturday morning during chores, Tormod thanked Hal for his good work during the week and paid him. When their work was finished Hal went into town thinking to visit Eachunn when he passed the Saturday market. It was mostly vegetables and other farm products, such as wool for spinning, but Hal noticed that there also were some finished items. He saw a lady with warm, wooly, sweaters. The thought of the approaching winter led him to buy a sweater and a hat, though he decided to see Tormod about getting some leather gloves made to fit. While Hal was finishing his purchase he saw a man with clothes similar to what the rogue policeman had been wearing on Wednesday. He watched as the policeman selected vegetables and took them with him as he started to walk away. When the elderly proprietress of the booth protested that he hadn't paid, the man knocked her squarely in the face so that she fell backwards, then he casually walked away with his selection. Once he was a short distance away, everyone rushed to help the woman. Hal followed him cautiously, at some distance. Hal donned his purchases, hoping to be less obvious about his following, but several times the man turned and looked back at him. He led Hal back to the main road that led toward the library and in fact walked past the library. Hal feigned going to study and having forgotten that the library was closed on Saturdays, and ran around the building to see the policeman continuing along the road. No one else was around, and Hal ran up to him. The man spun around to see what the commotion was. Hal stopped short about 40 feet away and pulled out his sling. The man ran up to Hal and snarled, "I don't think so, Irish scum." Hal responded, "I do think so." and let a bullet go, but even though it hit the man squarely in the chest, it didn't seem to accomplish much. For all Hal's valiant efforts, the policeman had barely a scratch when Hal fell to the ground, swollen, bleeding, and unconscious. The policeman kicked him once in the head for good measure, then turned and left him there. The day wore on without travellers passing by to see Hal's unmoving form, and as the sun set he still lay in the road, unconscious. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
8:23 pm	Chapter 11: Gaelic Lesson On Wednesday morning during work, Hal asked Tormod for directions to the library, and when his work was finished he made his way there. It was on the outskirts of town near where they had fought the wolf the previous Saturday, about halfway between Struy and the Castle. It was near the turn to Inchmore. The Library Hal had hoped to find books of local folklore, but did not. However, he did locate a primer for learning Scots. He spent a long while studying it and making notes until his stomach notified him that it was past lunchtime. He put away the book and packed up his notes and made his way out the door. As Hal walked down the path back towards the road he heard the scream of a female voice, and then shouted words he didn't know. He turned around and followed the sound. Behind the library there was a twenty-something man holding the arm of a teenaged-looking girl. They both stopped moving suddenly when they saw him. The girl tried to wrench herself away from the man but his grip was too strong for her. Hal took stock of the situation quickly. He noted that the man wore an official-looking insignia on his coat, so he apologized for interrupting, and turned away. The screams immediately began again, even more desperate. Hal circled around the library while her screams echoed. When he could see them again, her blouse was torn and the man appeared to be trying to tear it away from her. They hadn't noticed Hal, so he swung at the man. He let go of the girl and turned on Hal. The girl slumped next to the building, holding her blouse closed and gasping, while Hal attempted to pin the man to the ground. The girl's assailant was clearly very drunk, but even so he was bigger and stronger than Hal, so when he could connect with his fist, Hal felt it. For what seemed like an eternity, but was really closer to ten minutes, Hal pinned the man, maybe got a punch in, and then the man would wiggle out of his grasp, sometimes getting a hit in before he was pinned again. Hal was nearly exhausted and badly beaten when the other man finally stopped moving. The girl looked at Hal and said something in Scots. Hal replied, "Please get help!" The girl ran away and returned a few minutes later with a very upset-looking man in his late thirties or early forties. "Thank you thank you!" said the man, "You look bad. Come." "Can you get the police for him?" Hal asked, nodding at the unconscious drunk. "He police," the man replied, "you come with us and clean up." Hal was confused, but he allowed the man to help him up while the girl collected her books which she had dropped during the initial encounter. They helped him for a short distance back toward Struy then turned onto a side road Hal hadn't been on before. They went into the first house where a woman offered Hal a basin and cloth to clean himself with as she unmistakably fussed over him, despite his inability to understand the words. The girl disappeared for a few minutes, and returned wearing clean and whole clothes to peer worriedly at him. They all thanked him repeatedly. The older woman still looked worried, and the man was still visibly upset, when Hal departed for Tormod's and Sìle's house. He was glad not to meet many people along the way. When he arrived, Sìle looked very concerned and bade him sit and eat, which he did, and then he went to bed. Tormod brought in soup for him that night and asked whether he was all right. Hal didn't want to talk about what had happened and Tormod let it be. The next morning Hal woke late and heard Tormod working in the building with the leathers. He felt much better, no doubt due to his ring. He jumped up and went to join in the morning chores. "You look better than I expected you would this morning," Tormod observed, "I thought you might like to do some work in the shop in town and sleep late today. Oh, and there was a package for you on the doorstep this morning. Why don't you go inside to eat and then we can walk into town together." This sounded good to Hal, so he returned to the kitchen where Sìle brought him breakfast and his package. There was writing that he couldn't read on it, and he carefully opened it to find...cloth. He pulled out the contents and found it to be a new tunic and trousers. After breakfast he changed into them and went back outside to join Tormod. When Tormod saw Hal he smiled. "It looks like someone appreciated the bumps and bruises you got yesterday. They didn't know who you were, but they were able to determine that you were staying with us." The two of them walked to town and Hal spent the next few hours stringing lacing through the holes in a large supply of bags and pouches. He finished in time for a late lunch, so he went next door to the pub where he found Eilidh, Elspeth, and Màiri chatting and sewing. It was clearly not a busy time for the pub. Hal enjoyed their company for lunch and practised introducing himself in Scots, then returned to the library to study more. That evening in the pub after dinner he talked with Eachunn about going to visit the travel circle near Cannich, and they agreed to go the following weekend. They continued to converse for some time until they both agreed it was late and they should be going home for bed. Home? No, not home for Hal, but the closest he had to it. Friday passed pleasantly, with an afternoon at the library and a drink at the pub after dinner. That night he learned that the townsfolk had all heard stories of a girl who was nearly raped, and between that and the wolves they knew the police were not doing their job. There were plans to take on the king of the wolves on Monday, and all able-bodied men in town were asked to help. Hal resolved to join them, for he was becoming fond of these people. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
8:21 am	Chapter 10: Cannich On Tuesday Hal met Eachunn at his shop after finishing morning chores with Tormod. As he walked in he stopped short. Eachunn was being followed by a large disk which floated behind him about three feet off the ground and was laden with heavy-looking parcels. "What century is this again?" Hal asked. "It's 1856 last I checked," Eachunn replied, "You mean your scientists haven't yet invented levitating disks by your time?" Hal studied the disk but couldn't find any sign of the mechanism that kept it airborne. "How does it work?" Eachunn answered, "I honestly don't know, but it does, and it's very handy sometimes. Are you ready to go? Do you mind holding the other side of the disk until we're past the edge of town so it looks like we're carrying it?" Hal shook his head again in wonder, but obliged. As soon as they were away from the village Hal asked Eachunn a question which had been bothering him. "How common is it around here for people to see ghosts?" Eachunn smiled sadly, knowing that Hal was thinking of his meeting with Seanaid. "It's quite common. In fact, Angus, a farmer just outside of Struy, even built a new house because his wife didn't like the ghosts who lived in the old one. Now they store hay and other farming tools in it." At least Hal felt better about that now. They walked without incident for about 45 minutes until Hal saw movement in the trees out of the corner of his eye. He stopped, and Eachunn stopped in response. Hal pointed to the motion, and they both saw a wolf peering out of the trees at them. There was little doubt that Hal had learned from the events of the previous Saturday. The wolf was seriously injured, and the men were unharmed, when a second wolf emerged from the woods. Hal finished off the first wolf and turned to help Eachunn with the second and it was dead in short order. When they looked up they saw a third wolf which had been watching, and it apparently valued its own skin for it turned an ran away into the woods. After resting for a few minutes they resumed their journey. About halfway to Cannich they passed Glassburn, a small village of little note, and for some ways after that the road was right along the bank of the river. Hal saw a beautiful woman standing, strangely, in the middle of the river with her back to them. He pointed her out to Eachunn who looked startled. "Fingers in your ears and run!" he whispered. Hal did as he was told, and they ran for about 500 feet before Eachunn slowed and removed his fingers from his ears. "We'll have to note that location for the walk home. I wonder how long she has been there." Hal was curious, but had asked enough questions for one day, he thought. They continued to walk and after another couple of hours they arrived at a house on the outskirts of the town of Cannich. Eachunn knocked and an older woman with long, braided, hair and kindly eyes opened the door and motioned them inside. She greeted Eachunn warmly in Scots and he conveyed her greetings to Hal and introduced her as Sorcha. It took them only a few minutes to conduct their business and she brought lunch for the men. With Eachunn translating, Hal asked Sorcha about the travel circles. She knew more than Fiannula and mentioned that there was one nearby, about two miles further along the road, which Hal might want to have a look at sometime. She explained that there were many of these stone travelling circles and that each was linked to several others, and that an instrument to focus light was needed for them to work, and depending on the angle of the light and the season of the year, one could travel to any of the linked circles. She pointed out that there was only one opportunity per year to use each circle to travel to a particular linked location, so if Hal missed an opportunity to go where he wanted, he would have to wait a year for his next attempt. Sorcha also knew of the mage at Urqhart, but warned Hal that the ruins were inhabited by all manner of restless spirits and other beings which had taken up residence there, so he ought to be careful. However, she expected that if he could explore them he would find some useful knowledge. With the short autumn days neither Hal nor Eachunn wanted to delay their journey back to Struy, so they did not visit the nearby travel circle. They thanked Sorcha and took their leave, arriving back at Hal's shop in the late afternoon. Along the way Hal asked if Struy had a library, and Eachunn told him how to find it. Hal stopped by the pub for dinner instead of returning directly to Tormod's house. There he saw Torcuil and Màiri, who was looking almost as well as ever. They were all pleased to see the other doing well, and visited amicably for a while before Hal found himself beginning to lose focus, at which time he left for Tormod's house and went to bed. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
10:07 pm	Chapter 9: The Sermon Sunday morning, after helping Tormod with the farm chores, Hal cleaned himself up and walked along the path through the field to Padraig, Eilidh, and Elspeth's house. He arrived at about 9:30 just as everyone was getting ready for church except for Elspeth, who planned to stay home with Màiri. Hal asked if he could see Màiri and Elspeth nodded and smiled. When Hal walked in to where Màiri was he found her sitting up in bed smiling at him. She was very pale and didn't move much, but she seemed quite alert. She said something to Elspeth, who translated: "She is worried about you, since you look like you've been hurt." "I will recover," Hal responded, "but," he sighed, "this tunic has seen better days. It was new on Friday." With this he gestured at the tears in his new tunic. The girls spoke again and Elspeth said to Hal, "Màiri has offered to mend your tunic once she is feeling better, but it may be a few days." Hal was happy to accept this offer, and said so. After that he and Elspeth discussed the fact that he wasn't well enough to walk to the church, but that he could fetch things for Màiri around the house, freeing up Elspeth to attend services. So Elspeth hurriedly went out and dressed in her Sunday clothes and left with the rest of her family. Once they were gone, Hal held up his hand and pointed to his ring finger. Màiri pulled her hand out from where she had it hidden and when Hal held out his hand for it, she slipped it off her finger and gave it to him. "Fiannula's." he said, and at that her eyes widened slightly, then returned to normal, and she nodded. After this they spent a couple of hours pointing at household objects and practising saying the names for them in each others' languages. When the rest of the family returned home they all seemed a bit quiet, and Hal couldn't discern what was going on. They were friendly enough to him, and once everyone was settled he returned to Tormod's house just in time for the midday meal. At lunch Sìle was visibly upset, and Tormod didn't seem very happy, either. Hal finally asked apologetically if he had done anything to upset them. "Oh no, it isn't anything you've done." Tormod replied with a sigh, "Today the minister's sermon was about how the clearances in the upper glens are God's punishment for the sins of the people who live there. Those are good people who have sinned no more than we have who live here in Struy, yet he says we shouldn't try to help them and should encourage them to submit meekly to their punishment. Unfortunately, many people here will believe him, when he is clearly taking cues from the Earl's men." Hal spent the remainder of the day in his bed resting until supper, and had an early night after that. Thanks to his ring, on Monday he was feeling noticeably better, although not up to his usual standard. He helped Tormod with the morning chores and the leather tanning, then did some errands in town. He met Eachunn and the two of them decided to try to make the trip to Cannich on the following day. They agreed to meet at 10:30 after Hal finished his morning duties for Tormod. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
8:50 pm	An Actual Update Gàidhlig is an insane language. And people think Old Norse is bad? At least you can figure out how to pronounce it. I found a website with a pronunciation guide, but very few letters make the same sounds as in English (even consonants) and they all change depending on the vowel before or after them, and sometimes even then there are two possibilities. Never mind the invisible syllables that aren't written and the changes that depend on where in a sentence the word is being used. Despite my best intentions, I know I'm butchering a lot of the names in Hal's adventure. Speaking of Hal, tonight we had an awesome fistfight. We should have counted rounds, but we both did lots of dice rolling. It must have been a 5-10 minute fight. Hal had one hit point left when he finally knocked the bad guy out. The bad guy was a level 4 fighter who was very drunk and therefore had a -1 dex modifier and a +0 base attack. Hal was level 2, so I counted the encouter as being CR3. You can read all about it when I get my storytelling caught up. In other news, Alfie has been crawling, rather than inchworming, for about a week and a half now, and also can pull himself into a standing position. He is good at getting up and not being able to get back down. As Eric posted on his LJ, he is driving us crazy because now that he's nearly bipedal he wants to run and jump like Brianna does RIGHT NOW so he is very frustrated. This afternoon he was standing on tip toes at the gate peering over it into the great hall when he conked his head on the top of the gate (which is right at his eye level), and now he has a purple bump on his forehead. He got his first tooth last Thursday. He hasn't bit me while nursing yet, but this evening he decided to bite my toe and boy did it not feel good. Over the holiday weekend we made a lid to keep rain out of the trailer and I bought a piece of 3" foam on sale at JoAnns and made a cover for it. The inside of the cover is lined on all but the bottom with rubber sheeting, and the outside is a bright pattern that Alfie picked out from my fabric stash. I didn't have enough for the whole thing, so the bottom is just beige. So now he has a foam mat that he can nap on downstairs and can sit on when he gets tired of the hard floor. I did lots of yard work today, spending about 2 hours on it. Medhbh was great company and didn't get into any mischief at all. She ran around and sniffed things and followed me everywhere. I sprayed Total Kill (which seems to work as well as Roundup but doesn't support Monsanto) on all the sweet gum bushes in the clearing where we hold blots and along the paths. I transplanted a bunch of veronica plants from the woods where they weren't thriving to the edge of the driveway (where the trees were removed) where they will get mostly sun and will hopefully choke out weeds. I placed the landscaping timbers that delineate civilization vs wild woods and pulled up lots and lots of dog fennel. And I did other things, too. Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)